My kids went to the roller skating rink last night. Logan went for a party and the others just went to skate (Dakota, Tyler and Kaity). So we pick them up and so starts the story:

There is a boy (isn’t there always) who came up and started talking to Kaity. She talks back and then all of a sudden this other girl comes up and tells Kaity “Stop talking to my guy”. Kaity backs down and says “ok”. In the car hearing the story, I am shocked. First, there is no law that says a boy can’t talk to a girl, even if he is in a relationship and second THEY ARE 10 YEARS OLD. I told Kaity she had nothing to be ashamed of and she should have told the girl “Whatever, I can talk to whoever I want” and proceed to talking. Now, I understand that it could have caused a fight, if the girl was brave enough, but seriously my daughter should not have had to back down to prevent it. She should not have to feel like she did something wrong when she didn’t.

Now, imagine my shock when my husband disagrees with me. He, the one who feels the boys should never back down from a confrontation, feels that “Kaity should be careful who she talks to”. Um, in the sense that adult males or teenage males (just for the fact that they are too old for her), I agree, but they are TEN YEARS OLD. And why should she cower when she did nothing wrong? We ended up in a heated debate and we never really did see eye to eye on this. He feels that with her “impeding womanhood” that she should start being careful with who she talks to. My point is, yeah if she went out and was seeking to break up a relationship, sure, but if a guy starts talking to her what is she suppose to do, get a resume first and then decide if she should talk to him? Besides the fact, if that immature girl had a problem with it, she should have talked to her “boyfriend”, not my daughter.

So, we are still not in agreement about this. I hate to see what arguments we get into when she is actually a teenager and wanting to date. I see a bumpy road ahead….. but let’s not forget, right now SHE IS ONLY 10! For heaven’s sake, let’s let her be 10….

So many tears
In so little time
Sobs racking my body
And controlling my mind

Breaking and crashing
Nothing to be found
No evidence of my heart
Will be around

Screaming in silence
Because you are not here
To pick up the pieces
And to wipe these tears

It is so hard, sometimes, to make a decision about your child when you don’t know the outcome. One decision can have alternate consequences. How, as a parent, can you always have the answers? What if the decision you make is wrong? Where would you be then?

We are wrestling with a decision that needs to be made for one of our boys. Trying to find the best solution seems to be hit and miss. I feel terrible that we have to treat this as a “trial and error” situation. There is no clear cut answer and, although, nothing so far has made the situation worse, it doesn’t seem to be getting much better either. It is hard on him, as well as us, that we have to keep trying different things.

I guess the best we can do is have faith. Faith that our instincts and knowledge will lead us through. Maybe by doing this it will show our kids that not everything in life is going to have a clear cut answer and that we must rely on what we have to make the best decision possible.

I guess even if we did have a manual it would work much the same way. We would still have to use our instincts and observances to choose the question, but depending on what we think, there could still be different solutions. I guess in that way, our knowledge and instincts that are ingrained in our head, is the choose your own path manual. I just have to faith that my manual is working correctly.

Melissa don’t think
she’s pretty no more

Starin at the stars
through her back screen door

she tried and tried
to make it all work out

no matter what she does
she’s left standin in the middle of doubt

in a lonely night
and in the pouring rain you can count on me

(chorus)
sometimes she cries
when she’s alone at night
sometimes she weeps
when she’s feelin cold and weak
sometimes the pain
it just tears her up inside
sometimes she cries
ooooo…. i wonder why?

melissa don’t have
a lover anymore

plays with her pillow
stares at the bedroom floor

used to have a million
they’ve come and gone..

no matter what she does,
she cant figure out what she’s doin’ wrong

in a lonely night
and in the pouring rain you can count on me

sometimes she cries
when she’s alone at night
sometimes she weeps
when she’s feelin cold and weak
sometimes the pain
it just tears her up inside
sometimes she cries
ooooo…. i wonder why?

living
loving
givin evrything youve got
after all the heartache
MAYBE GIVE LOVE JUST ONE MORE SHOT yeah…

(solo)

in a lonely night
and in the pouring rain..
THE ONLY THING I REALLY WANNA KNOW IS WHY…

sometimes she cries
when she’s alone at night
sometimes she weeps
when she’s feelin cold and weak
sometimes the pain
it just tears her up inside
sometimes she cries
ooooo…. i wonder why?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfnvzfW4MhE

I do have to admit though, watching this video did bring more than a few flashbacks of bad high school/college parties! Ah, but really, weren’t those the days?!?

Well it is a new year, so why not attempt the blog again, right? This is the time for resolutions and motivation so here is mine. I resolve to be happy this year. Yup, that is it. I am going to make every attempt to be and make others happy. Seems like an attainable goal right? Yeah, I thought so too. I decided not to let the little things get to me anymore. Life is too short, so why stress. Negative people will not interfere with my happiness any longer.  I commit to enjoy 2009 to it’s fullest. Happiness is positive and that brings positive energy. So, Happy 2009 everyone and enjoy those positive vibes!

Ps. This blog, www.queenbeeconfessions.wordpress.com, is now also featured on my facebook page.  Two for one, yay!

So, what is new in the world of me? Hmmmm, not too much.  Football is almost over, YAY! My two younger boys teams made it into the playoffs, so we do have 2 more weeks of games. It is bittersweet really. Kaleb and Ty are in winning teams. Kaleb’s team hasn’t been beat once and Ty only lost the last game.  BUT, both boys get to play rarely or not at all in the games. Ty may go in for a play or two and in the last 2 weeks, Kaleb hasn’t seen anything more than the sidelines.  I know I want to be supportive of the “team” with their winning, but my boys really aren’t feeling the real glory of it. It isn’t even that they are bad players, they can play. They aren’t the best, but really, a team is made up of more than 1 player, right.  So, we are “cheering” that they made the playoffs, but secretly fuming that the boys are only passing players. I paid my dues for them to be on this team. I paid just as much as the other parents. Actually more, because I have 4 kids on the rosters and I had to pay for many miscellaneaous items for them to be in this sport. NOT to mention, I spend atleast,  $150 a week, yes I said A WEEK, in food and gas. It takes us 45 minutes to get to the practice field 2 times a week and it takes AT LEAST that long to get to the game field on Saturday. And Saturday, we spend a minimum of 8 hours, yes, again I said 8, at the field watching these games where they sit on the sidelines.

So, am I just a parent that is expecting too much from this sport? I don’t think so. I know the coaches have a tough job with getting all the players playing time, but when there are a handful of kids that play the WHOLE game and there are others that don’t play at all, then I feel there is a mis balance with the system.

When all is said and done, will my kids remember that their team “WON” the most games or will they remember that their view of the game was the best because they were on the sidelines?